Be thou my vision oh Lord of my heart

I can't begin. I really don't know how. I can't begin to process these past week weeks. I can't begin to put into words everything God has done. I've really put of writing this blog post, because I don't know where to begin.

I am a person with a big heart and I easily let things truly become a part of who I am. I'm still trying to decide if thats a good thing. In high school I let band and the musical become such a big part of me that it was nearly impossible to let it go. In college my world has been rocked by Sing, Antioch and the crazy life of being a CL. At some point, each of those things became a PART of me, not just something I belonged to, but helped define my character and what God was molding me into. But this summer was different. From the moment I stepped into the Towers bubble, I knew I wouldn't be the same. At Pine Cove, I found life. Life lived the way I've always wanted to see it. People who pushed through their own struggles, needs, pain, desires, exhaustion and comforts to answer God's call. There were SO many times where I would be walking through camp and have a joy overwhelm me. It came at the strangest times. From swinging around a camper in my arms during club, to walking my girls back to our cabin singing "Boom-chicka-boom." There were times, like Sunday, where I found God at the top of the treehouse at six in the morning, so quiet and gentle but still so powerful and reassuring. There were times when I would be in my cabin on a Saturday night having a breakdown (and poor HopSkipee walks in the door) that I found joy in know that God understands my sorrow, and comforts in ways that no one else can.


This summer I discovered my complete joy and learned what my deepest sorrows are. I learned what solitude is and how God can call us to be in a place that is lonely, but full of community. God showed me that his love is sufficient, now matter what my heart longs for. God used a unique lonliness to show me that his glory is so much more important that any recognition or glory the world can give me.





Its funny how God will use little things to remind us of his sovereignty and how well he knows his children. Our bible study during week 4 focused on "do not let your heart be troubled." In that bible study I was so challenged to rely on God for the many things that I let my heart be deeply troubled by. Then this week I had a group of girls that asked SO many questions and were constantly concerned about where we were going and what time the next thing. It began to drive me NUTS. I was so frustrated with their lack of trust in me. I knew what time they needed to be somewhere, and I knew that I would get them there in time. I just wanted to say "TRUST me already! I will get you where you need to go, when you need to get there!" But it was in that frustration that God spoke so clearly. God constantly tells as his children to simply listen and obey. I'm sure my constant worry and concern for my future frustrates God because he knows exactly where I need to be and know that he will get me there when I need to get there. All I need to do is simply obey and be lead.





There have been many songs that were a blessing to me this summer, but the one that stands out is the song that the staff would listen to every Sunday right before the kids came. We would lie down on the floor of the rock stretch out, all in our matching green shirts and kahkis. It was a time to recenter our focus off of ourselves and onto the purpose of our week. Last Sunday, I spent the entire song just crying, thinking of the truth of the lyrics and how God has proven himself through them over and over, week after week.


So. Read these lyrics and download the song, and you will have probably the best idea of where my heart has been this summer, where it is now and where it will be when I go back to Pine Cove in two weeks. yep. thats right, I'm going back and I couldn't be more thrilled.






Rise- Robbie Seay


Slow down, be still
Let go, we will
Be here, be now
Slow down, be still
Breathe in, refill
Be here, be now
If you choose to love
To know that the call
Is to give all you are
To give love away, away
Rise, rise, people of love rise
People of love rise, give yourself away
Rise, rise, people of love rise
People of love rise, give yourself away
Give yourself away, give yourself away
Slow down, just breathe
Be still, believe
Be here, be now
Slow down and see
It’s all you need
Be loved and free
And to hear the call, is to give your love away
And to hear the call, is to give your love away
And to hear the call, is to give your life away
Is to give your life away
We’re not safe, we’re not safe
But we will rise