if you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere., you better wake up and pay attention

Well friends.... I feel its time for an update once again. Although my life is not that thrilling its the little things that make life constantly entertaining.

The ever-present drama and stress of "what am I doing with my life????" still remains, but is slowly dwindling to a manageable list. I'm learning to really love closed doors. They are clarifying and are God's way of saying, "hey.... that might be great, but I have BETTER." Fine with me Lord, just keep guiding me as I baby step my way into this pitch black room filled with adulthood.

Teaching in Korea is officially and totally out, for this year at least. No available jobs makes things pretty clear. Maybe next summer.

I'm so grateful for a calling. I love teaching I really do, but its not the mere transferring of knowledge that gets me up everyday. Its my students and the little impact that I'm able to make on them for 8 hours everyday. I love the feeling I get when they come in to the class in the morning and want to give me a hug before they do anything. If there has been anything solid about me this year it has been the constant knowledge of knowing I'm needed and appreciated by those kids. What a blessing, I've done nothing to deserve it.

A small heartbreak of this week has been the realization that no matter how much of myself I pour into a student's life, there are some things I just can't change. One of my favorite (yet most difficult kiddos) was withdrawn from my school this week. I'm heartbroken. He was really beginning to show a ton of progress and self-motivation.

but in that I can remember that its their lives that eternal, not their grades. I do not regret a single moment that I spent with my little friend because I know that the time I poured into him will not disappear in vain. Whether he passes the TAKS or not this year, I was able to remind him that he can chose to be successful, no matter what his situation is... and he started to believe it.

sad.

what else? our apartment building is being overrun by pet dogs. its like something in the air changed at semester and the dogs have decided to take over. constant barking, pooping stinkin' everywhere.... plus running VERY intense laps around the upper walkways at all hours of the night. if you come by to visit, please proceed with caution and avoid the poo. it might get on your shoe. ew.

me and the roomies are addicted to Bearobics (yes. Baylor does over-mascotize everything, I love it. don't judge). My personal favorite classes are combo kickboxing and dance fusion. Kickboxing just takes me back to the Billy Blanks days of middle school P.E. What really happens in middle school PE? All I ever remember doing is turbo kick and a tennis unit. and being test for scoliosis. all clear, no spinal issues for me. sorry Abbey.... does anyone remember middle school PE? I can't imagine it being a happy time for anyone. 7th grade scars aside, Bearobics is fun and my abs haven't hurt this bad since last time I tried to Bearobicize. If I ever get out of my school soon enough on a Thursday, I'd love to go to Zumba.

I hate running. SO much. Me and the treadmill are not besties. But my dear friend, Lacey Murphy, recommended trying to run and read scripture at the same time. Hello motivation! I'm reading through "Praying God's Word" by Beth Moore and its rocking my face off. I've never found something that can push me through the tough miles, but God's word breathes a motivation in me that nothing else has. Who knew? His word is life-giving. and heart-rate increasing. If you are looking for something to put the extra Turbokick in your prayer-life, go pick up this book, its awesome. Now it chills in my car to be my stoplight inspiration, I might have to buy another copy.

Speaking of books, Haley and I were talking earlier about books because she recently did a blog about her reading list (check out her blog, its super-fab). It took me a while to think through all the books that I'm in the middle of right now because I have the horrible habit of starting a book, getting about a third of the way though then putting it aside to restart and finish later. Why???? Strange habit.

My list looks a little something like this:

- An Echo in the Darkness, Francine Rivers (I'll probably finish this tomorrow, I'm enraptured)

- Spiritual Leadership, Sanders

- Lord, Teach Me to Study the Bible in 28 days (Its been more like 5 months, but hey... its changing my life. slowly),

- Anna Karenina, Tolstoy

- Desiring God, Piper

- Reflections on the Bible, Bonhoeffer

- A Thousand Splendid Suns, Hosseini

- Reading Lolita in Tehran, Nafisi

- Wild at Heart, Eldredge

- Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, Blume

and I just bought Boundaries tonight.

ADD much? yep.

well. its 3:45am and I've had a lovely chat with my Rachie tonight so I'm calling it a night.

farewell my friends.